- Ange Antics
- Manchester, United Kingdom
- I am Someone who Loves God with I am a bubbly lively person who loves meeting people and loves God with all their heart and trys to put God first always. Someone who has a calling to work with young people and the arts. I have a heart for urban missionary work I am called to build the kingdom.
As many will have read and seen I was living in East London I thought I was going to be living there for more than 2 years but after a year it was suggested to me that I came back to live with the rest of the team. My initial reaction wasn't great at I began a struggle of what the best thing to do was and for quite a while I have to say that my decsion was more based around ministry and generally based on Doing. I was so desperate to build something and have something to show for who I was. I in many ways had missed the point.
Yes I was doing many of the things that I had dreamed of for a long time, working in a youth club, I knew the young people on the estate I was living on an estate which is something that I had wanted to do for a long time. I was even had postiton of leadership both in YWAM and the church.
I was facing a decsion where I apparently had to leave everything, these were things I could see, ministry, Church friends, a house, an area, even the vision I believed God had given me. I struggled and struggled and at one point I very nearly decided to keep it all and stay where I was, and perhaps leave YWAM
However one day I was in my friends car and there was a CD on with some teaching and he was talking about how he had been invited to a conference to sit at Jesus' feet, whilst I was listening something clicked inside me thats what it is about "Sitting at Jesus' feet." I am not a human doing but a human being.
It doesn't matter if I do all kinds of things ministry wise if I am not keeping the first thing first JESUS and my relationship with him. For many years I didn't t understand the story in Luke where Martha is there serving Jesus but Mary sits at Jesus' feet and when Martha complains Jesus says that Mary chose the better option.
It's about knowing God and just by being we can bring God's presence it is about being with him not by doing, doing doing, which is totally my tendency.
This coupled with the times that I read John 12: 24- 26
"Unless a grain falls to the ground and dies it will not produce any fruit." But if that grain dies it will produce much fruit"
Then there was a conversation with a friend and I had, had many conversations where people had said yeah that I was badly done to, that yeah I should leave, that I needed to fufil my potential, that yes it was time to build. However this friend said something different to me, and I knew that it was God speaking to me - Angela you need to go through the cross - it is good for you. If by staying you are trying to avoid that then you musn't.
These three things together convinced me that I needed to move, in many ways move back to the team. It would seem humanly speaking that I would be taking two steps back rather tha forwards.
I knew it would be brokeness and difficult to leave but having left everything behind I feel I have gained everything. It really is true what they say the one who trys to save his life and the one who loses his life saves it.
will write soon .....
I came to the states because it was a chance to have a holiday and I was accompanying my bestfriend so what ever happened happened, I didn’t really have any expectations but I thoroughly enjoyed my time there I didn’t expect to.
The next day I slept a whole 12 hours, because I had been up for nearly 48 hours. The following day I had quite a lot of energy which I was quite surprised about. Within 3 hours of getting up we decided as a three to go on our first road -trip they had been waiting for me to start them. We were already staying with Abby who came to do the DTS about 4 years ago and we decided to head to Carmel where we would meet Britney who also did the same DTS school.
God really speaks to me on long journeys and in the Shower enough said!! Going back to the very long flight which was fairly enjoyable I saw a film I highly recommend called ‘THE SOLOLIST’ about the friendship between a disgruntled Journalist and a musician who has a mental illness and is living on the streets. It was amazing all about LA where I was heading however I didn’t spend any time there in the end but it showed the amount of poverty there is and people struggling with mental illness and some of the systems in place which are meant to protect the clients but actually sometimes make it worse.
Anyway as we were listening to Abby’s music on the road trip to
As I listened to the music I felt so content and so close to God it is amazing how I feel closer to God through what I can see in nature I felt his presence in the car as we sang at the top of our lungs to Alleluia and other songs by rita Springer and the Phil Wickham.
We got to Carmel really late we had Pizza with Britney and it was so cool to hear all of her crazy stories some seemed impossible but by her sharing them with us she challenged me in the amount I am willing to take a risk and step out for the impossible and not caring about what other people think!!
We went to somewhere near
There were some chipmunk looking Squirrels I am still not convinced they were Squirrels anyway they were the tamest and cheekiest creatures I have ever come across if you even so much as showed them food they would leap onto your back as they proceeded to do with a couple who were having a picnic.
Most of the places we have stayed in so far have had dogs so I have needed to get used to dogs jumping on me in the morning. Such as Pierre a tiny little dog with a lot of character and determination by the end of my stay in Carmel I wanted to bring him with him however I need to teach him personal boundaries as he would try to lick my feet a past time I have found to be widespread with American dogs.
That same night we had a fairly spontaneous prayer time where all the women that were gathered prophesized over each other it was a very powerful time. I received some words which were very encouraging and also some prayer which I believe was of a lot of healing for my life. I still need to process what was spoken over me.
These words make me excited about the future and what is ahead one thing is certain is that I must must must paint. That God wants to use it in a powerful way, so watch this space!!
That same night we set off for Pleasanton Abby’s parents home well it wasn’t a mansion but it was certainly a huge house.
Despite loving America I wasn’t prepared for the culture shock that I would get when I got here which was greater than the Jeg lag which we didn’t have time to even observe because we had too much to do.
A few observations ……….
Public Toilet door seem to be chopped in half and you feel like someone could look right over the door and you could be caught short shall we say, then there is the toilet seat that is in not existence I mean I could end up down the toilet if I wasn’t careful.
I am the kind of person who takes particular notice of the toilet situation which often impacts the way I think about a place.
Then there is the obsession with my British accent more than twice I have been surrounded by people who just want to hear me talk and it is like being grilled say this say that!!
The wall to wall eating places I sometimes have been misled to wonder whether anyone actually spends any time at home cooking. There seems to a greater eating out culture like everyone does it back home it is usually only to celebrate something or if you are super rich!!
I have got to a place where all I want to eat is Salad and that is saying something for me. Saying that I have really enjoyed the food here for the most part especially in California the Mexican ,Sushi and awesome different kinds of Breakfasts I think I can safely say that America has surpassed the Brits on the Breakfast front.
So for those of you who know nothing about Wildfire I guess I haven't wrote much about it on this blog, one of the main ways we disciple the young people who are with us is by getting them involved so this was not my outreach it was the outreach of seven young people the oldest was 18 the youngest was 12. At the same time we encourage families to be involved and we had the privlidge to have a family with us from Scotland. We encourage the young people to be involved to the Max, preaching or MCing etc.
Italy feels like years ago but in reality it is only 2 months ago. I really liked Italy, I guess it is the latin culture which I really liked. Pescara is very beautiful as well, towards the end of my trip I was thinking I would like to spend sometime there when I am a little more relaxed not working on an outreach, just to walk around and take in some of the beautiful views. However I did manage to spend quite a few afternoons on the beach and an early morning cursory of a new Argentine friend there, who wanted to spend her birthday seeing the sun come up check out the pictures!!
Our team was quite different to the other outreach teams as our young people didn't realy know each other before we got to Pescara. So as well as the ups and downs of a normal outreach they were getting to know each other throughout the first few days. Apart from some teething problems we bonded quite well. There was a fair amount of coming and going in our team too.
One of the girls on our team didn't have her passport before we left so sadly we had to leave her behind. However Andy Sloan prophecised that she would be able to go to Italy that God was going to do a miracle. The time for our departure came and went and she decided to call her parents to come and pick her up. I encouraged her that God could still do a miracle.
Sure enough about a week later God did a miracle just before the two Egyptian girls left we got news that Sarah's Passport had come through it seemed to us that it all happened so quickly when the authorities had said that it was going to take a few weeks. Later we understood why God had done this he needed to put some things into practice.
It is amazing to me that God fits things together like a jigsaw puzzle and when we are in the middle and we only have a few pieces there we get so confused and frustrated and later when the final piece is put in we say I GET IT!!
We stayed at the Pescara base which has a beautiful view but it not huge and there were sometimes 17 of us. I was thrown into sharing a room with 6 teenage girls and another kings kids leader, this was a bit of a shock to the after having my own room for nearly two years. I now realise that God was getting me ready for the situation I am now living in. The kitchen was fairly small for the amount there was of us. We made what was one bedroom into two with the use of a sheet, some how we all fitted and we spent a lot of time there perhaps too much time!!
The thing i enjoyed the most and would really liked to have done more of was work with the children of Aquilla. You have probably heard the story about the earthquake. Pescara and Silvi are only 1 hour away so the government has some of the families who were displaced from the disaster to hotels others are in huge displacement camps, which we didn't get to go to as we were a team of young people.
It is funny how children and young people in their essence are the same where - ever you go. There are the children who are very curious, just want to be loved and hold onto you. Then there are the teenagers who act with attitude brush you off but in their hearts they are still children and are desperate to be loved if people would just keep trying with them.
We went there 3 times, the first time I wasn't there but they had like a scouts set up where they seemed to be obliged to be there. The other two times they came under there own steam and well there were not as many but we still had fun.
The second time we went the room where they had been before was flooded so we ended up in the Foyer of the hotel much to the frustration of the manager. We had different workshops Nail painting, Painting, Circus we also did action songs which everyone seemed to love and something that worked well where-ever we went. I guess it broke down the language barrier. One of our young people David who is 12 about how when he was 8 God told him that he was his Daddy especially as his earthly Father was not around!!
He shared this testimony quite a few times and it was really powerful each time he shared it.
The last time we went there we did more of a show with a shorter workshop time, it would have been so great to spend more time with the children there but it wasn't possible. I think that since we went there the church that opened the door for us has started to do a regular work there for the Children in the hotels.
Children and children and they do seem to get over such disasters well on the surface anyway but there were old people just sitting there too, they seemed very fed up like almost waiting to die it was very sad and we would like to have done something for them but well it just didn't happen. However Judy the mother from the family got to pray with one of the old ladies and pray for her through the painting of nails.
We also spent time in the local park painting faces, modelling balloons, and prancing about with action songs all good fun. We never managed to do much constructive on the beach a part from a devotional time where everyone was very distracted I suppose the sea was just too tempting.
Then a couple of nights we went out to the town and sang worship songs in the square where we shared the hope of Christ with a few people. I found that Italian people love to chat especially in English or Spanish but when it comes to deep matters they are very edgy and get very uncomfortable but well I think this is a nation where we are sowing seeds.
For me one of the most amazing facts about the Outreach in Italy was the way through defined prayer we saw the young people change overnight. Time after time we saw attitudes and behaviour change when we dedicated team time to prayer.
It is also incredible the way that this short time where the young people are out of their comforts zone but at the same time a place where they feel cared for and their faith can be nurtured is enough to cause a ripple effect in their lives.
What a privlidge to be part of this process, I look forward to more of these outreaches in the future and see what God can do!!
I think I will add more to this blog as it is something God speaks to me constantly as it seems to be a constant strugglel of mine, we can get so busy and tired that we forget the very reason and even person we are doing it for. There should be no other motivation than bringing Joy to God's heart!!!!Don't focus on the doing focus on the being and I realize I am not very good at being always needing something to do. I am beginning to understand what Jesus meant when he said you will always have the poor but you won't always have me.' Jesus was teaching us to have our priorities if we focus too much on the doing we will leave Jesus out of the picture and we could lose him all together. If he isn't at the centre of the picture the rest doesn't matter. Where -ever you look there is so much need, focusing on Jesus helps us not get overwhelmed with the need but shows what the next step is and he walks with us in it.
Salvation is just the beginning it is not the whole story, and even this I don't think I grasp completely, saved from what? Well in the last few months God has revealed to me some of the tendencies I used to have and where I could have ended up it is not a pretty picture at all.
A little girl in one of the camps I run came up with an idea that I hadn't found in any devotional or theological books still it blew us all away. I have once wrote that Children are treasure in our hands not only that but they can give us little nuggets of Gold that if we blink we might miss.
She said that Jesus came in God's form Jesus came to show us how we can be like God we often say God came in human form but not the other way round and well it opens up our minds to a whole new world to completely new possibilities. We can be like God I was also blown away that God actually wants us to be like himself how awesome is that and what amazing love that shows.
The song - "Who is this king of Glory?" always really touches me everyday I realise I need to know Jesus more, perhaps I know God and I even hear God on a regular basis but I know I could know Jesus better and to understand some of the mysteries of the father we need to know Jesus. He said time and time again in the bible that if we have seen him then we have seen the father.
I read today in Hebrews that The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, how amazing this verse is and it is basically saying the same thing as our little friend said.