My Life Story - Uncut Part two

So I didn't do very well academically at primary school and I don't remember going so much quite alone and bullied all the time. Despite all of this I don't remember being a particularly unhappy child I always seem to have a smile on my face in photos.  I was very quiet though and probably had very low self esteem although you can't put such feelings into words when you are seven.
Now Secondary school was quite a different story when I thought about it whilst I was in Argentina  I realised it coincided with when I got involved in the church again.
Now I was brought up as a Catholic and as I mentioned early on I did go to Sunday school.  Each school or college I went to was catholic so I always had these foundations in some ways helpful and in other ways not.  I always remember believing in Jesus that he died on the Cross rose again and I always prayed it was never an issue however at the same time I did not have any revelation of Jesus nor of a relationship of Jesus etc.  It was simply religion which I followed but it led me later on to greater deeper faith and ultimately a relationship with Jesus.
So here I was 1st year of Secondary school and I realised where I was academically.  Now at primary school I knew I wasn't doing so well academically and I didn't think I was very clever all of which I refute now I have a completely different perception of myself more of a godly one. Anyway I found myself in the second to bottom class with people who had severe behavioural problems or learning difficulties and I it was the reality check I needed.  I must have said to myself what am I doing here?

At that point I must have made a decision I don't remember actually doing that but I know that I started to work really hard and term by term I moved up sets until I was in the top class apart from maths.  It was such a sense of achievement. Now if I think about it this was about the same time I started to get involved in church again.
I was a some kind of fair at the local Catholic church hall and I met the lady from the guides I got invited to join and it all started from there.  We would have to go to services at the Catholic church for trooping of the colour something like that and somehow I got invited to be part of the choir as I always enjoyed singing and still do now.  I would listed to the sermons from the priest and think well that sounds good but there has to be more than this.  That's when my Gran started to invite me to activities at her Church which was the Methodist Church I had been to when I was little.

First I started going to Harvest suppers, and then the services.  I was having so much fun I found people who accepted and loved me something I had not experienced before.  This was the beginning in many ways of my journey.  At the same time I made friends at school and I was doing a lot better at school life was getting better there was though quite a lot of conflict at home.  I started to enjoy life especially with my new life in the church however I still had this underlying rejection which affected my behaviour but Jesus was starting to heal me this would be a long process which continues today and will carry on for the rest of my life


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